From my years as a tennis instructor for little kids, I took away a multitude of valuable lessons. I learned the significance of the moment immediately following a child’s fall while they decide whether or not it warrants a meltdown. I learned all of the impressively creative ways that one can turn a tennis racket into a weapon of destruction. But more than anything, I learned the power of self-improvement.
In one of my summer classes, I taught a group of about a half-dozen kindergarteners. Despite being just five or six, there was clear variation in each child’s coordination and skill. I ran a drill where the kids would line up and take turns swinging at balls I’d gently toss their way. For each student, the goal was different. Some were trying to simply have the ball touch the racket. Others wanted to get it all the way over the net. And for one in particular, even just holding the racket up was a battle in itself.
Every time someone new would step up to the line, it was about them and only them. It didn’t matter what Jack did in his turn or what Ellie did in hers. Each of the kids had their own idea of what success looked like for them. Every individual accomplishment, no matter how big or small, called for a full-blown celebration. My favorite memories of teaching are the hugs and high-fives I received after a student did something they never thought they could do.
Now, as a college student in an environment that feeds off of competition, I become more and more impressed by my group of kindergarteners. How could a bunch of five-year-olds coexist in one class and still remain so focused on their individual goals and achievements, but a group of adults fail so miserably at the same task?
After spending the previous semester recruiting for summer internships alongside my peers, I realized the true danger of comparison. I quickly became obsessed with what other people were doing, who had already gotten an internship, which company names were the most recognizable.
I saw my friends succumb to similar pressures, gradually breaking down from their internal inadequacies. It was frustrating to watch totally capable people feel defeated only because their journey looked different than someone else’s. The more people I talked to, the more universal I realized the feeling truly was. The scariest part of an environment so toxic is that even when everyone is feeling a similar way, no one wants to be the one to admit it.
Even after I had gotten an offer for the summer that I was passionate about, I still did not feel fulfilled. After the initial excitement wore off, I found myself back online, searching for more. But why? It was only after I had secured my offer that I realized the true problem is not in fact the pursuit of the best internship. Rather, the problem lies in never being truly happy with ourselves when we are so immersed in comparison.
As we progress through college and continue making decisions that will shape our futures, we need to prioritize ourselves. We’ve worked hard to get to the point we’re at today with a world of opportunity at our feet. It would be unfair to us if we made choices based on anything except what we value. Make a list of what matters most to YOU and then follow the best path to get there. You owe that to yourself.
So when it’s your turn to step up to the line and take a swing, remember what your version of success looks like. And regardless of the outcome, make sure you celebrate yourself afterward for getting one step closer to your goal. I’ll be right there to give you a big high-five.
Love,
Emily